Spectator Signs

After recently researching spectator signs commonly seen at races, I want to share these with you, along with my possible reactions, because if you show up with any of these signs, I'd like to give you fair warning of any bad reactions.

"Your feet hurt because you are kicking so much butt!"

Favorable reaction- yes, I kick butt!!  Tell me more nice things!

"Your legs will forgive you...eventually."

Neutral.  Thanks for coming out, but you don't even have a clue.

"Don't stop -- people are watching."

Favorable.  This is funny but also evokes feelings of peer pressure... effective!

"Worst Parade Ever"
Unfavorable.  Worst sign ever.  Go home- do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

"That's not sweat, it's your fat cells crying."
Unfavorable.  I don't even understand the purpose of this sign- is it an awkward compliment?  Like, oh, look at all that sweat, that's your fat cells crying, what I'm trying to say is you are looking quite skinny!  If I wanted to look skinny there are easier ways to do it than running a freaking marathon, i.e. I'd probably just quit my ice cream habit, thanks for trying though.

"If it was easy, I would do it."

Favorable.  Anything implying I'm working my ass off to acheive something really difficult is awesome.

"Run like you stole something."
Neutral.  That's all you had really?  I appreciate the sign though, that's cool you took the time.

"This is easier than labor and delivery."
Unfavorable.  Are you aware that you can't get a freaking epidural during a marathon??

"You're not slow. You're just enjoying the course."
Favorable.  Not that I need your approval, but yes, I am, thank you for noticing!!

"Stop reading this and keep running!"
Favorable.  Simple humor is good.

"Beat Oprah!"
Favorable.  Even if I don't beat her time, this sign would make me crawl to the finish if I needed to.

"Puke and rally!"
Favorable.  Anything referencing puke is funny.

"Don't worry, toenails are overrated."
Neutral.  I guess.

"Run like someone's chasing you."
Unfavorable.  This one is a little creepy.

"It'll feel better when it stops hurting."

Could go either way.  Smart ass sign.

"Mortuary ahead....look alive!"
Favorable.  LOL funny.

"If I ran it, by God, you can, too."
Favorable, only if the person holding this sign is about 40 pounds overweight, drunk and smoking cigs.

Unfavorable, if runner-type-for-life person with a six-pack and spandex hugging muscles is holding.

"Chuck Norris never ran a marathon." 

Favorable.  Hilarious.

"Staying up all night making this sign was hard too." 

Favorable.  I enjoy sick humor.

"You are NOT almost there." (seen at mile 1)
Unfavorable.  I may give you the finger for this.

"The end is near." (Sign held by man dressed as the Grim Reaper at mile 21 of the 2010 Marine Corps Marathon, which was on Halloween)
Favorable.  This may result in hugs, or at least a thumbs up.

Be the tortoise, not the hare

"I didn't train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can."
-John Bingham, on running marathons

My first marathon is just a little over a month away, and so far I've had a pretty good attitude throughout my training. Just take one run at a time- on my longer runs, I break it down even further- take one mile at a time. I never really had a mantra before, but have finally adopted one: "Run for a Reason"... Wish I had thought of this myself, but really just got it off the postcard St. Jude's mailed me when I first registered.

I think about my upcoming marathon and I am a touch more confident than I was 6 months ago. At the start, I was still having problems running for 45 minutes without wanting to die. 6 months later and I think I'm doing so good that I'm pretty sure I'm annoying to all co-workers, friends, family and my entire Facebook network because I'm so consumed with running it's pretty much all I talk about. (But seriously Facebook friends- you run 18 miles and try not to post how awesome you are... not going to happen.)

But here's the thing... don't let me fool you... I'm still nervous as crap.  I've trained so much and so hard, but at the end of the day- well, not today thank god, but the end of marathon day- I still have to run for 5 consecutive hours- and that's if I do REALLY well, and don't make any mistakes, get injured, go insane, flag a taxi or hit the dreaded wall and let it destroy me like it does so many others.  So as funny as I think Bingham's quote is, I'm also sort of taking it to heart- I've put too much freaking time and effort into my months of training to mess this all up, so I am really focused on taking my time.

But identifying yourself as a runner, sometimes it's difficult to think this way, even though it's the only way a beginner marathoner should be thinking.  Running, at the root of it, is an individual sport.  Even if you're in a race with thousands of people, you're only racing yourself- and there's a 50/50 shot you're going to either succeed or fail, sometimes based on seconds.  And all the runners I know are always thinking in terms of PR: Personal Record.  Runners are definitely victims of their minds- because it's not a team sport, in a true sense of the word (can't really rely on the go-to guy to make you go faster if you're not having a good day), runners are left to battle themselves in every race... just a finish line and a struggle with their own worst enemy, themselves.

But in the end, I think I am still novice enough to really believe in Bingham's quote.  Plus, I can run all I want, but I hope I'll always be laid-back enough (ahem, lazy enough) to never be disappointed in a run--- any run.  At least I got off my freaking couch, right?  And I will strive to always be completely impressed with efforts and let you all know about it on Facebook to make myself feel good, no matter how much it pisses you off.  So stay tuned friends!

Things I learned...

Things I learned on my EIGHTEEN mile run this morning...

• There are better, more efficient, more enjoyable ways in which to travel 18 miles, but none are more rewarding than running
• What makes a bunion more unattractive?  A blistered bunion. When the shoe guys says don't wear your new shoes on your first long run, you should listen.
• Talking Trains are wise; The little train that could knew that there is power in positive thinking, and now I do too
• Sometimes you just get lucky... no chafing :)
• I am capable of a lot more than I ever thought I was!

Death by Chafing

I have been so consumed with the fact I've actually been able to complete my last couple of long runs that I've only touched on my excitement and appreciation on my success of my 14 and 16 miles runs.

Alas, there has been an issue I have been glossing over... holy chafing!!!!

I assume chafing is the number one reason humans aren't meant to run marathon distances.  But apparently the super human marathoners have long been  ignoring the fact that subjecting body parts to repetitive movements for extreme durations, creating, I estimate, enough friction to start a fire if arms and legs were made of kindle and wood, will cause gut wrenching chafing.

Now, I remember from Dawn Davis's witty marathon training book (The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women) she warned me of chafing to come.  But like many experiences you read about, or hear a friend talk about, or watch a television show describing, I had NO idea what it was all about until I lived it.

After my 14 miles I felt AWESOME!  I was on 2nd street in Ocean City, MD (after running to 127th St. and back), and I was literally cheering ("whooo!") for myself on the street as passer-bys moved aside telling their children not to make eye contact, I imagine.  I was on cloud 9, for sure.  Cloud 9 disintegrated once I got into the shower, and I fell fast and furious to the depths of a hellish sting as the water hit my butt.  OMG!  Chafe!  On my butt??!  How does that even happen... right where my leg meets my cheeks; it was most unfortunate.  Oh but wait- there was more- the insides of my arms- looked and felt like I had taken a cheese grater to them.  This was it: my first god-forsaken experience chafing.  Unfortunately I knew it wouldn't be my last.

So then this is where I'm at with this part of the whole journey: as a twenty-seven year old I've invested in more medicated burn ointment than I have in my former years combined.  But much like some of my other marathon training experiences so far, I'm learning what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.  And for that I'll stay positive and keep on keepin' on!

Doubtful, but not Defeated.

I ran sixteen miles today, but in heavy contrast from when I completed my fourteen mile run, I do not feel like I won the feel good lottery.  I feel more like I won the I-feel-like-I-just-got-hit-by-a-truck lottery.  After about four miles into the run, I realized I'm just not feeling it today.  From there on in, each step was filled with more and more doubt... how am I going to make it up that hill?  will I be able to finish?  everything hurts, is this normal? is my body ripping at the seams? how come I'm not a milking cow, they all look really happy over there...

But I wasn't a milking cow, and I chose this commitment to train for a marathon, and on days like today I remember that the struggle along the road will only help me reach my goal, as long as I fight through it (similarly to the kids at St. Jude's).

A deep thank you to the group I ran with today: Emily, JoAnne, Kim, Sara and Bobby.  They led the way and offered me the words of encouragement I needed throughout the run.  And with their help I was able to struggle through my doubtful, clumsy, tired strides and ensure I wouldn't be defeated in the end.