Solitude

I usually think of solitude with a negative connotation... like, not that I have the personal experience, but I know that in prison solitude=bad.  It's like the worst punishment they can think of giving a person- hey, you've screwed up so badly, we're going to throw you in a hole with only your thoughts... gooood luck... it's only a matter of time before a person loses grip with reality.

So I was going through a little bit of anxiety this week when my running coach announced that this week's theme would be "solitude".  Oh no, that doesn't sound good... but with his announcement he spoke of solitude in a way I don't often think about it... runners will report that one of the best benefits they get from running is getting away from their daily tasks and stresses... it's just you and your thoughts.  What an ideal way to clear your head... stride by stride the stress melts away and any runner will brag about how amazing they feel after a run.  Yay endorphins!!  Thinking of solitude in this way left me craving a good (short) run to wash away the troubles of the day...

But I wasn't scheduled for a very short run... I was scheduled for a 50 minute run- incorporating 5 yasso 800s (I won't go into what a yasso is, but here's the two important things: 1. I had to do mine alone because noone else in the group was doing them at my goal (slow) pace and 2. they required me to count laps on the track and watch my clock to keep my pace surgically steady)... my first demonstration in solitude and I had to really focus on my goal... but there were other people on the track, and a guy reading a book in the stands, and a soccer practice going on, tennis players on the courts- so much to look at and think about!!  Oh lord this solitude thing was going to be hard.

 Ultimately I was  left feeling a little confused, maybe even torn... because looking at solitude in terms of an endurance run... let's say, ooooh 26.2 miles... I am most certain I'll find myself struggling to balance the scales between the very different sides of solitude.  I imagine once I run for a half hour or so, I'll start to get comfortable, in a groove, then as I go on feel the amazing strength my solitude will bring me... but after a while, I'm bound to start feeling like I've been punished, like I'm in a prison, questioning why am I here and what the hell was I thinking??  

Moral of my story...focus will be a key element in finding strength in my solitude, instead of defeat.  God help me... I may start implementing yoga into my marathon training :)

Appreciation

One of the best things I've gotten out of the Flying Feet program so far, and there's been a lot of things I've already gotten out of it, has been an appreciation for running.  Every week we are given a theme- which I really have been taking to heart.  This week happens to be themed appreciation... this theme spoke to me a lot... when I sit back and reflect on what I've already accomplished, I'm wowed... I mean, I ran 10 miles this morning... that's awesome!!  

Sometimes it really doesn't hurt to not only celebrate your accomplishments but to appreciate them- really give thanks that yes, I'm able to do this. This is so important for me especially, because most of the time I'm complaining about running... it's no fun, I hate it, I don't want to, please don't make me.... but some people can't run at all, or walk, so why am I complaining?  Well, because it's hard, and uncomfortable, and hard.  But completing each run, mile by mile, with great runners sharing their time, motivation, encouragement with me- man, I've definitely learned to appreciate it!

bitches & gripes

I think I'm a pretty positive person, most of the time, but I also have an ever-present side of me that loves to bitch and gripe.  And I'd love to let you all know about a complaint I had during my 9 mile run this morning... and my complaint isn't even related to a) having to run 9 miles or b) waking up before 9am on a Saturday...  I did fairly well with those two issues.

Me and a handful of runners were standing at a water station (7 miles into our run, woohoo, we're awesome!!!) and observe a pack of cyclists headed our way- so we start cheering them on, some say some nice things to us as they past... it was just a polite little cheer fest going on...

Until, one of the cyclists asks as he approaches us, "what race are you doing?"  We call out that we were just running for FUN!  As he passes, he turns back and says, "Really?  When did running become fun?"

7 miles into my run, I did not find humor in that. 

NOW.  I will be the first one to admit, my idea of fun does NOT include running, especially for 99 consecutive minutes like this morning, HOWEVER.... he could have just given us a good old polite thumbs up, or "Good Job" and went on his merry way. 

The last time I checked dressing up in a bright ass colored adult sized baby one-sy with a bike seat up your crotch isn't that much fun either.  

Moral of my bitch and gripe: Let's all be supportive to each other no matter what insanely miserable endurance activity we're participating in- give a good ol' fist pump and just keep on trucking, and make yourself think you're having fun, without worrying about someone reminding you that in fact, you're not.

9 miles?!

I have to wake up at 6-ish AM tomorrow morning to run NINE miles...

Have I ever mentioned I'm not a morning person?

Apparently I'm also not a person who doesn't FREAK OUT in anticipation of running 9 miles... like, nine sweaty hot difficult miles, in a row...

Have mercy on my soul... I know I'll get through it (hopefully without crying like my 8 mile run), but can't understand how right now...

6k aka 3.75 miles

Had a "fun" 6k in my running schedule tonight... it was an out and back course with some lovely Carroll County rolling hills (uuuhhh duh!) and me and some of our pace group made it out at around 20 minutes- picked up the pace and I made it back in somewhere just under 18 minutes- booyah!

This probably doesn't sound as impressive as it felt- because I'll tell ya what- as we turned the cone on our way back, we were definitely trying to pick up the pace, but we knew the same hills were going to be a challenge on the way back, so we also were trying to make sure we'd have enough gas.  So, we were being a little conservative in how much faster we were headed back.  Once we passed the marker that let us know we had only 1 mile to go, I pretty much just decided to beat feet.  And luckily I had enough left in me to do just that :)

Progress

If you've been wondering I haven't been posting, it's because I've been busy running!

My progress has been great so far; I have been having a great experience running with Flying Feet and am hoping my success continues *cross fingers*.  I run with the group three times a week, and the coaching is a huge help- Dave Griffin runs this program for runners of all levels and goals.  He is a great coach, and is extremely knowledgeable- probably because of his own running experiences, as well as helping high school runners train in the past.  He's been running the program for a while, and I'm very happy to have found out about it, because I know it will be a huge part of successfully completing this journey.

It's a brand new experience for me to be running with others, and I was super nervous.  I have the benefit of a college friend, Steph, also joining this program.  And it turns out one of her friends, Megan, who had also gone to college with us, had done the program in the past, and joined again for the summer program.  Having some friendly, familiar faces in the crowd really helped calm my nerves a little bit.

The rest of my nerves calmed down a bit once I realized how awesome it was to run with other people... first of all, I'm learning a lot- apparently I was running too fast- most runners make the mistake of running faster than they should... although I joked around that this probably wasn't a problem of mine- once I got together with my pace group, I realized, holy cow, I really was running too fast!  No wonder I wasn't able to pull off a longer run, I was using all my gas within the first few miles... this new running pace is great- for instance, my 8 mile run on my own was a nightmare- over-ran the first half, had to walk a lot the second half (and cry)... but this weekend I ran an hour and fifteen minutes with my pace group, running the second half of the run a full 2 minutes faster than the first half, feeling stronger than ever (runner's high really does exist!)...

Although, with a group run in a half hour, and mother nature not giving me a break (so hot!!!), we'll see if I get lucky with another good run- because I've also learned that on any given day no runner knows when a rough run will hit us.