Solitude

I usually think of solitude with a negative connotation... like, not that I have the personal experience, but I know that in prison solitude=bad.  It's like the worst punishment they can think of giving a person- hey, you've screwed up so badly, we're going to throw you in a hole with only your thoughts... gooood luck... it's only a matter of time before a person loses grip with reality.

So I was going through a little bit of anxiety this week when my running coach announced that this week's theme would be "solitude".  Oh no, that doesn't sound good... but with his announcement he spoke of solitude in a way I don't often think about it... runners will report that one of the best benefits they get from running is getting away from their daily tasks and stresses... it's just you and your thoughts.  What an ideal way to clear your head... stride by stride the stress melts away and any runner will brag about how amazing they feel after a run.  Yay endorphins!!  Thinking of solitude in this way left me craving a good (short) run to wash away the troubles of the day...

But I wasn't scheduled for a very short run... I was scheduled for a 50 minute run- incorporating 5 yasso 800s (I won't go into what a yasso is, but here's the two important things: 1. I had to do mine alone because noone else in the group was doing them at my goal (slow) pace and 2. they required me to count laps on the track and watch my clock to keep my pace surgically steady)... my first demonstration in solitude and I had to really focus on my goal... but there were other people on the track, and a guy reading a book in the stands, and a soccer practice going on, tennis players on the courts- so much to look at and think about!!  Oh lord this solitude thing was going to be hard.

 Ultimately I was  left feeling a little confused, maybe even torn... because looking at solitude in terms of an endurance run... let's say, ooooh 26.2 miles... I am most certain I'll find myself struggling to balance the scales between the very different sides of solitude.  I imagine once I run for a half hour or so, I'll start to get comfortable, in a groove, then as I go on feel the amazing strength my solitude will bring me... but after a while, I'm bound to start feeling like I've been punished, like I'm in a prison, questioning why am I here and what the hell was I thinking??  

Moral of my story...focus will be a key element in finding strength in my solitude, instead of defeat.  God help me... I may start implementing yoga into my marathon training :)