Death by Chafing

I have been so consumed with the fact I've actually been able to complete my last couple of long runs that I've only touched on my excitement and appreciation on my success of my 14 and 16 miles runs.

Alas, there has been an issue I have been glossing over... holy chafing!!!!

I assume chafing is the number one reason humans aren't meant to run marathon distances.  But apparently the super human marathoners have long been  ignoring the fact that subjecting body parts to repetitive movements for extreme durations, creating, I estimate, enough friction to start a fire if arms and legs were made of kindle and wood, will cause gut wrenching chafing.

Now, I remember from Dawn Davis's witty marathon training book (The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women) she warned me of chafing to come.  But like many experiences you read about, or hear a friend talk about, or watch a television show describing, I had NO idea what it was all about until I lived it.

After my 14 miles I felt AWESOME!  I was on 2nd street in Ocean City, MD (after running to 127th St. and back), and I was literally cheering ("whooo!") for myself on the street as passer-bys moved aside telling their children not to make eye contact, I imagine.  I was on cloud 9, for sure.  Cloud 9 disintegrated once I got into the shower, and I fell fast and furious to the depths of a hellish sting as the water hit my butt.  OMG!  Chafe!  On my butt??!  How does that even happen... right where my leg meets my cheeks; it was most unfortunate.  Oh but wait- there was more- the insides of my arms- looked and felt like I had taken a cheese grater to them.  This was it: my first god-forsaken experience chafing.  Unfortunately I knew it wouldn't be my last.

So then this is where I'm at with this part of the whole journey: as a twenty-seven year old I've invested in more medicated burn ointment than I have in my former years combined.  But much like some of my other marathon training experiences so far, I'm learning what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.  And for that I'll stay positive and keep on keepin' on!

Doubtful, but not Defeated.

I ran sixteen miles today, but in heavy contrast from when I completed my fourteen mile run, I do not feel like I won the feel good lottery.  I feel more like I won the I-feel-like-I-just-got-hit-by-a-truck lottery.  After about four miles into the run, I realized I'm just not feeling it today.  From there on in, each step was filled with more and more doubt... how am I going to make it up that hill?  will I be able to finish?  everything hurts, is this normal? is my body ripping at the seams? how come I'm not a milking cow, they all look really happy over there...

But I wasn't a milking cow, and I chose this commitment to train for a marathon, and on days like today I remember that the struggle along the road will only help me reach my goal, as long as I fight through it (similarly to the kids at St. Jude's).

A deep thank you to the group I ran with today: Emily, JoAnne, Kim, Sara and Bobby.  They led the way and offered me the words of encouragement I needed throughout the run.  And with their help I was able to struggle through my doubtful, clumsy, tired strides and ensure I wouldn't be defeated in the end.

Just won the feel good lottery. .. 14 miles on my own... prisoner of my thoughts and all... AND in under two forty... excuse my French but fuck yea!

The Value of a Dollar

It's difficult for me to write about the reasons I picked St. Jude's as the charity I'll run for... not because I've personally known a child to battle a catastrophic disease, but because the opposite is true- I haven't personally known a child to battle a catastrophic disease.

There are many worthy charities out there that I would have also been honored to run for.  But St. Jude's stood out to me; the thought of battling 26 miles was scary to me, but the thought of a child battling for their future is even scarier to me.

I came from a great home, and I know my Mom and Dad would have done anything for me growing up, because time and time again they did (and still do; thank you!!!).  And I know that all the children that benefit from St. Jude's have parents that would do anything for their kids too.  I want to pay it forward- I want to help fight for St. Jude's, because I know my parents would've fought for me.

Although we all know that medical costs can be sky high, this will give a concrete insight into it.  At St. Jude's here's some costs for common treatments day in and day out:
Platelet count test:::::::::$45
Complete blood count test:::::::::$57
Chest X-ray, one view:::::::::$140
Spinal tap (includes physician fee):::::::::$282


This is the value of our dollar... we will pay for platelet count tests, complete blood count tests, chest x-rays, etc.... we will fund the fight these children need.  


Thanks to every one who has already donated, and thanks to all who will.

Glass of... Speed Bump

This isn't completely related to my marathon training except for that it happened right after I finished a run... but I went to the liquor store to pick up a bottle of red... walked straight to the discount section, naturally... and pretty much saw a message from above: Speed Bump, red wine.  

No joke.  

And it's delightful!  So obviously it was meant to be- tackling metaphorical speed bumps in my marathon training and appreciating a glass of Speed Bump red in my downtime... life is good!

Speed-bumps... don't let them become road-blocks!

Six weeks into my Flying Feet program and after one of my runs I found myself feeling overly exhausted, with a sore throat and was trying not to think about it.  I was doing SO well!!  I was actually enjoying it too!  Sure enough, this wasn't just a sore throat though... slowly became bronchitis, and I was out for 2 weeks.

Now, within the two weeks' time, I debated every single day... I feel a little better, maybe I can do just an easy run... then went through double the guilt and frustration when I decided the smarter thing would be to wait until all of the cough and phlegm was behind me.

I am thrilled to be back at my training... however, I wanted to take the time to write about this because it's something we can all relate to- taking time off while working towards any goal, after working so freaking hard to keep moving forward, is not only really difficult, it is unbelievably frustrating.  I am an intelligent person; I knew it'd be better for me in the long run to take the time off, get better and come back when I was really ready- and I'm so happy I took the time I needed to be able to do that.

However- at no point during my time off did I want to do that- no matter how much I knew it was better, I wanted to get out there.  I immediately felt like I had just ruined everything I worked toward for 5 weeks. I felt so frustrated because there's this common idea among people who are striving to make major life changes- people tend to go with an All or Nothing approach.  So it was easy for me to think: I missed 6 runs, I should just forget this marathon and eat my favorite sinful guilty pleasure, fettuccine alfredo, all day, every day and get fat and cry about it.  However, like I said, I do have an intelligent side to me- so I knew I should just calm the hell down, get better, and rock it when I was ready.

The All or Nothing approach doesn't work, so just forget it.  It engages too much emotional reaction to every sort of speed bump you run into- i.e. "omg, I messed it all up, I'll just go back to my old ways and feel extra badly about my lame attempts".

There should be more effort placed on a balanced approach to any big changes we're trying to implement... we should be able to work through speed bumps- just like in an automobile- we're making forward progress, but we are forced to put on the brakes, only to get over the hump without any damage, in order to be able to move ahead without any issues.

And furthermore- if for some reason this speed bump hits us harder than we anticipated- and now we're forced to move ahead with our goal a little slower than originally thought- but we do not let it become a road-block- we should be able to tell ourselves that's okay... we still made it out on top- we should still celebrate that we made it through!

No matter what the situation... sometimes that's all we can do... make it through... and that's always something to celebrate.

Solitude

I usually think of solitude with a negative connotation... like, not that I have the personal experience, but I know that in prison solitude=bad.  It's like the worst punishment they can think of giving a person- hey, you've screwed up so badly, we're going to throw you in a hole with only your thoughts... gooood luck... it's only a matter of time before a person loses grip with reality.

So I was going through a little bit of anxiety this week when my running coach announced that this week's theme would be "solitude".  Oh no, that doesn't sound good... but with his announcement he spoke of solitude in a way I don't often think about it... runners will report that one of the best benefits they get from running is getting away from their daily tasks and stresses... it's just you and your thoughts.  What an ideal way to clear your head... stride by stride the stress melts away and any runner will brag about how amazing they feel after a run.  Yay endorphins!!  Thinking of solitude in this way left me craving a good (short) run to wash away the troubles of the day...

But I wasn't scheduled for a very short run... I was scheduled for a 50 minute run- incorporating 5 yasso 800s (I won't go into what a yasso is, but here's the two important things: 1. I had to do mine alone because noone else in the group was doing them at my goal (slow) pace and 2. they required me to count laps on the track and watch my clock to keep my pace surgically steady)... my first demonstration in solitude and I had to really focus on my goal... but there were other people on the track, and a guy reading a book in the stands, and a soccer practice going on, tennis players on the courts- so much to look at and think about!!  Oh lord this solitude thing was going to be hard.

 Ultimately I was  left feeling a little confused, maybe even torn... because looking at solitude in terms of an endurance run... let's say, ooooh 26.2 miles... I am most certain I'll find myself struggling to balance the scales between the very different sides of solitude.  I imagine once I run for a half hour or so, I'll start to get comfortable, in a groove, then as I go on feel the amazing strength my solitude will bring me... but after a while, I'm bound to start feeling like I've been punished, like I'm in a prison, questioning why am I here and what the hell was I thinking??  

Moral of my story...focus will be a key element in finding strength in my solitude, instead of defeat.  God help me... I may start implementing yoga into my marathon training :)